Overcoming jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

7 Strategies on Dealing with Jealousy in Intimate Relationships | HuffPost

overcoming jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Nov 23, Being insecure in relationship is an obsession. Nip it in the bud before it becomes a monster. Read here to know how to overcome jealousy in a. Overcoming Jealousy, and Control in Relationships and jealousy in relationships means changing the core beliefs of insecurity and mental projections of what. Jul 22, A hint of jealously here and there in a relationship might be no big deal, but what or perhaps insecurities you feel when comparing yourself to others. If you've been overcome with jealousy lately, it might be time to have an.

Stop trying to 'work out' why they can possibly like you. People with quite high self-esteem can experience intense jealousy if they tend to feel they themselves must always be the centre of things. People like this tend to look at other people as material property. And maybe they just don't want to share that 'property', even as far as letting their partner innocently smile or socialize with another person.

Perhaps as a kid they were a little spoilt. But people are not objects or toys to be constantly guarded. To love someone properly, we need to be prepared to lose them. Sounds like it, you might think and I do have my momentsbut hear me out. Anger, fear, and jealousy drive out love; and love needs a strong dash of fearlessness to flourish. Okay, so you fear losing your loved one to someone else and possibly fear how this will make you feel about yourself.

If you must keep using your imagination, use it to imagine the 'worst' happening and you still being okay; not just surviving, but thriving in this imagined scenario. Fantasize about how well you'd react, how whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Write down 10 positive ways you'd like to respond and how you'd build your life up even better if this relationship were to end.

overcoming jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

Fear is much greater when we feel that 'all our eggs are in one basket'. Don't build your whole life around any one person. But don't leave this list lying around to be found by your partner, as this may start them feeling insecure.

overcoming jealousy and insecurity in a relationship

People sometimes try to make themselves feel better by trying to get their partner jealous. Flirting with other men or women all the time in front of your partner; constantly saying how attractive, fun, and witty someone you work with is; and going out of your way to talk about past lovers just demeans you and won't make either of you feel better in the long run.

This isn't to say you have to pretend that no other attractive people exist in the world, but you can acknowledge this without using it as relationship ammunition.

Overcoming Jealousy

If your partner is ever unfaithful to you, that is a reflection of them, not you; and if this were to occur, it's better that they don't have the 'ammo' to turn around and say: Because you were always flirting outrageously with the auto repair man girl who works in the bar The imagination is great Stephen King has a stellar career from making stuff up and writing about it.

But he distances himself thankfully for him! He doesn't believe everything he writes is real just because he imagined it. Right now, I can imagine an alien invasion headed right towards Earth. I can vividly 'see' the pesky aliens about to land the mother ship in my local park, but I don't believe it.

Jealous? How to Take Back Control…

Stop trusting your imagination so much. Your partner is home later than you thought they were going to be.

Overcoming jealousy: The 10 Dos and Don’ts

You start to imagine them having an intimate drink with that handsome guy you saw working in her office or that luscious sister of his new gym partner you happened to see one time.

You become angry, upset, frightened - without having any evidence that what you imagined is real. They come home and you react 'weirdly' by being very cold or you have an outburst of anger toward them. They become defensive and angry back in turn. I recall seeing a YouTube video of a dog becoming very angry - with its own leg. The more its leg moved, the angrier it got with it - not realizing that it, the dog, was moving the leg.

We laugh when we see a dog do this, but psychologically people do a variation of this all the time. When you stop getting emotional just because you've imagined something, you'll take a hefty step toward regaining control of that jealousy. Start relaxing with lengthening the 'leash'.

  • Why Do People Get Jealous?
  • Overcoming jealousy: The Dos
  • How to Deal with Jealousy

If your partner wants to spend the weekend with his or her friends, let them. Keeping them 'imprisoned' will only build their desire to escape your possessiveness. Let them have their freedom and no, this is not the same as letting them walk all over you. If you are out with them, let them chat to their attractive colleague bearing in mind that they may not find their colleague as attractive as you imagine. If you suspect your partner is trying to make you jealous, then short circuit this by relaxing about it; but how?

Close your eyes and relax. Now think about the type of scenario that makes you the most jealous. Is it knowing your partner is out and you imagining them with someone else? Is it seeing them talking and laughing with someone else? Now, breathing deeply and focusing on relaxing different parts of your body in turn, just imagine seeing yourself looking calm, relaxed, even disinterested in that type of situation.

Because ultimately in life we only have ourselves to answer to, and you can only truly control yourself. Whatever the reasoning, this is not the answer.

Playing games will only makes things worse and ruin the trust between you. Fight your instinct when you feel like you want to make them feel bad or anxious and treat them fairly.

This is a very dangerous path to go down and will end up causing more problems in your relationship. It will probably result in your partner having trust issues with you too and cause arguments and even more distance between you. Thinking and reality are different. It is easy to misinterpret pictures or messages online and many people jump to absurd conclusions.

One of the best ways of overcoming jealousy is to remove yourself from the online world as much as possible. These are some of our tips to help with overcoming jealousy but ultimately it comes down to trust. But if you accuse, demand and punish, you might create a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Here are some of our tips Related articles.