10 Things You Should Never Post About Your Relationship On Facebook | HuffPost Life
Give And Take Quotes from BrainyQuote, an extensive collection of Relationships have to have a give and take if they're going to work in the long term. 23 quotes have been tagged as give-and-take: Anthony Liccione: 'Let me be me, or let me be. tags: build-up, building-people-up, building-relationship, diamond -life, encouragement, faith, forgetting-the-past, . Continue with Facebook. Life and the laws of nature all revolve around the basic fact of give and take relationships. If you have to take from the world, you ought to give back. Learn from.
Give and Take
Not every photo you took at last weekend's party needs to be posted -- especially the one where your wife is sporting some serious crazy eyes. Jokey posts about your spouse's shortcomings. Sure, it's kind of cute that your spouse is so bad at cooking, even Easy Mac is a challenge.
But if you're considering posting a witty status update about it, you better make sure you get clearance from him first, said Aaron Andersona marriage and family therapist and owner of the Marriage and Family Clinic in Denver, Colorado.
Regardless of how cute you thought it was, your spouse may not want your mother or your college ex to know about it. Cryptic posts about your spouse's bad behavior. Keep the accusations of two-timing -- or any other questionable behavior -- to yourself, advised Brenda Della Casaa relationship expert and author of Cinderella Was a Liar: Photo posts with captions about how hot your spouse is. It's great that you think you have the hottesthubbyever -- or that your wife deserves to be your WCW every week -- but your spouse might not be as fond of the posts as you are, Anderson said.
Subtle digs at your partner's ex. If it drives you nuts that your girlfriend is still Facebook friends with her ex, take it up with her. Shooting off passive aggressive comments about him on Facebook is just going to make you look bad, said dating coach and relationship expert Neely Steinberg. The details of your fights and arguments. Save your relationship rants for your therapist or trusted friends, said marriage therapist Christine Wilke.
Giving Quotes ( quotes)
When I help you, it is your gratitude that is the deposit in my account that motivates you to repay me, not just the fact that I helped you. Other emotions complicate the situation. For example if I help you and expect you to be grateful, then my feelings of expectation will give me the impression that I have earned a certain amount of social capital, and that my bucket is a little fuller as yours is a little emptier. Yet if you are not that grateful, you will not think you owe me that much.
In fact if you did not need or want my help then you may think you owe me nothing. And if you see my help as an intrusion or an attempted 'robbery' in forcing me to owe you in return then your feelings of resentment will tip the balance the other way as you believe I owe you some reparation for the wrong done. In this way positive and negative emotions have opposite effects on the social capital bucket, and the stronger the emotion, the bigger the effect. If you hurt me in any way, then you owe me.
If you help me then I owe you. Love and hate are enduring emotions that have a big effect on give and take. If I love you then I will give much.
Even if you do little in return, I will feel good for having helped you and hence effectively reward myself with good feelings rather than expect things from you. The extreme form of this is unconditional love which, as the name suggests, expects nothing in return. Love can also complicate the bucket when it leads to lower expected reciprocity. My expressions of love for you may make you feel that I expect little. This can cause resentment and anger that results in recriminations that erode the love, effectively 'killing the golden goose'.
Hate is often based in the belief that the other person owes a great deal, which justifies attacks that take much from them. When others refuse to repay what we believe they owe us then our emotions become negative and hence motivate harmful action. Just as unconditional love does not consider what is given, blind hate is not concerned with what is taken.
Both can upset the bucket and confuse the social capital account, though each is likely to beget itself.
Love very largely creates love and hate mostly creates hate. Love results in much reciprocal giving while hate leads to battles of blow-by-blow taking. The wider effect While give and take is important in individual relationships, its broader power is in the creation of society. As relationships deepen and trust increases, we may take from one person and give to another. For example a person in a happy relationship will be kind to others, effectively sharing the social capital gained from their relationship partner.
This is helped by the fact that emotional exchange is often unconscious. When I help you, I may not realize the value I provide and so do not expect much in return. This gives you the scope to help others without emptying the bucket. The overspill thus created keeps society afloat in a sea of social capital.
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Social capital can be gained indirectly when others see you helping people and doing good things. When they appreciate your actions in conforming with social norms, their approval effectively acts as putting a few social credits into your bucket. Politicians know that they can make huge gains from widespread public approval, so they seek to champion popular causes and otherwise appear 'good'. Within this social system there will be net takers and givers: Givers may be unwilling, feeling as the downtrodden poor.
They may also be those who have a seemingly deep well and who pay themselves internally, feeling good just for helping rather than needing material repayment from others.
It is this intrinsic system that gives society its net positive social capital and which allows us to live together in large groups.
Laws often result from failures of people and society to maintain a balance of give and take. They remind us to give and they take from takers with material and physical punishment. Laws protect the vulnerable from those who would take advantage. They also redistribute wealth from those who have taken more than others.